I will be brief. I must be, otherwise I risk taking a large and heavy object to my computer or assuming the foetal position in the corner and silently crying.
I have spent the last few hours attempting to increase the profile of my blog. I have trawled through the help pages of www.blogger.com and checked my settings to ensure that I am maximising my potential to reach as many complete strangers in cyberspace as is humanly possible. I have achieved very little. My settings, in the main, required no alteration from their default statuses.
During this process however, I found that I had failed to attach labels to my posts, which I discovered would enable other users to be directed to my posts more speedily if the labels match their search criteria. Accordingly, I set about labelling each and every one of my posts.
Feeling very pleased with myself, I reclined with a coffee and eagerly awaited the traffic I felt sure would magically flow towards my blog. It was at this point that I noticed my posts were no longer in the correct order, my most recent effort having been relegated to third position.
An embarrassingly long period of time ensued as I attempted to find a way of remedying this. I’ll spare you the details, but the resulting loss of two of my posts has left me bereft, particularly as one of the posts has also mysteriously vanished from my hard drive. It is possible that I am now suffering from eyestrain and quite feasibly a form of temporary insanity, as it’s inexplicable that I should fail to save a blog post.
The only glimmer of hope in this sorry state of affairs is that I did successfully complete my Google+ profile. But even this is somewhat tainted by the fact that no one I know is currently using the facility so I will be touting my wares to a handful of apathetic celebrities. That is if I have managed to connect Google+ to my blog in the first place. We shall see…
So, if the Dalai Lama, Caitlin Moran or The Guardian happen to be reading this, please could you just give me the heads up and save my poor, faithful scapegoat-of-a-computer from the scrap man? Pretty please?